The Gossip Dolls

Those hushing sounds behind my back
And the fresh news items off the rack
Discussing others' private lives
Buzz like the bees out of their hives.

Pinch them, they scream worse than a horn
They are like roses full of thorns.
Shouting out their grief, these agony aunts
Can't be shut up by anything but taunts.

Wear high heels and a lot of make-up on
Stay freshly grazed like an open lawn.
Foundation, toner, face-wash and what not
Faces like chipmunks and ducks they've got.

Discussing boys is their inborn talent,
Boasting on for days how her guy was valent.
Their laughs sound like the cries of a mongoose
Fail at no brainers, all the brain screws are loose.

Making vocabulary mistakes in the 9th grade
Busy showing each person a different shade.
Go to the washroom, not to pee;
But adjusting their hairpins for everyone to see.

Play petty games like dodge and softball
Now tell me, why for equality do we haul?
Ask them to play football, just try a hand
After watching the scene, its difficult to stand.

Find it hard to bisect an angle
But no difficulty in setting up a love triangle!
Behave two-sided in every situation
The only defective piece in god's creations.

I wish to grab scissors and cut their 'tails,
Right from where the first tie hails.
Push some stinking socks to their nose
or spray them away with a fire station hose!

Tie their tongues with some rubber bands
The only way to stop rumours before they expand.
Lock them in a class and don't get them out
Scare the hell out of every girl standing about

-Chinmayee Kulkarni